In Loving Memory of Koko.

It has been a while since I last saw my handsome male cat, Koko. He vanished almost a month ago. I just don't know his whereabouts. I miss him dearly. I wish I knew what actually happened to him. Is he still alive or gone completely from this world? I have no answers at all. I tried to find him around my house and neighbourhood but Koko can never be found anywhere. I miss those nights when he'll call me from the outside of my room, by the window trying to get in. Once he's in, he'll sleep on my bed until the wee hours of dawn before smooching my face with his wet nose trying to get out from my room.


During my pregnancy, Koko kept me company whenever my husband is away for work. He'll have half of the bed and I had to make sure I won't accidentally crush him with my huge belly. Hehehe! Oh how I miss him.


Thank you Koko for being such an amazing friend to me. I can never forget all the crazy things you did to me like kissing me all over my face trying to get out at 5 in the morning. Biting and playing under my chair while I'm on the computer. Sleeping in all sorts of funny and weird positions on my bed. Scratching my hands when I tried to caress you. Meow-wing at me when you want something and so much more.


I am sorry if you feel that I abandon you after Chempaka Naura is born. My attention and priority has changed entirely for her. Thank you for helping me during my rough nights, I miss having you next to me. I miss you a lot now.


Whatever the outcome is, I hope you are in a better place and happy. Although I miss you so much, life has to go on.


Here are some photographs for remembrance.

Koko trying to get some sleep.

The bed is mine! Hehehe!!!

Leaning my hot bod to the wall.

Not sure if he's in a yoga class? This is so cute!

I'm going to miss you forever Koko.

XOXO,

Hidayah@D.

A Reader! My Blog?

I've been writing my blog for a couple of months now. When I first started it, I expected no one to read it at all except my husband and some close family members. Today, I found out that there's another person, an outsider who visits my blog. Wow! And that reader left a comment. I'm flattered and surprisingly delighted! Is that normal? I don't know what to say about it. I am happy that someone reads and I still can't believe it. Thank you.

P/S- Hey my love, someone actually visited my blog! Hehehe! Thanks to you for encouraging me to do this. I love you to bits.

Kiasu, Who???

This word often confuses me. I think I know what it means but at the same time I don't really know what it means? I'm sure you know what I mean. So, to clear things up, I decided to check it in the Internet and find out what it really means. It derived from a Hokkien (one of the Chinese dialects) word that literally means 'fear of losing'. I still don't quite get it, do you?


This word is synonym with Singaporeans as it is widely used to describe their behaviour. However, I disagree with that. To me, my Singapore experience has been great so far. Regardless with all other opinions relating to the kiasu issue. I believe that somewhere everywhere, there must be some people who's kiasu, not particularly in Singapore. There are some in Malaysia, Hong Kong, and other countries too. Kiasu is so subjective.


Recently, I travelled to Singapore, again with my loved ones for a short getaway over the weekend. I had to be on my own for a while with my daughter because my husband couldn't joined us, (as he was busy eyeing on Mark Wright! Hehehe!). Well, travelling solo with an 11 month old baby is not a walk in the park for me. My daughter wants to be strolled constantly without any stop, so that somehow restricted my window shopping while I was there. I was clumsy and exhausted at the same time, (not that I'm complaining for being a mother!) rushing everywhere and tried to comfort and fulfill my daughter's needs and wants. I was busy struggling with the baby, the stroller, the shopping bags, the phone calls from my Mama, the coins falling all over the place etc, you name it all. I was just  about to burst into frustration and came this lovely young lady with a sweet smile offering a hand to me, I was in heaven! She helped me by picking up my coins on the floor. Though it was just a tiny good deed, but I really appreciate it indeed! It was spontaneous and I am a sucker for good people with positive attitude, and she impressed me greatly well by doing that! What kiasu, who? Singaporean? Think about it.


Surprisingly, there was another person with a big heart caught my attention as I was fighting my way from the hustling and bustling crowd. I was approaching to the exit and was about to push out the door to make my way out when one young gentleman held the door and helped me with my stroller and all, how swwweeeetttt!!! A help I least expected, especially when people raving about how kiasu and arrogant Singaporeans are. Nope, not all are like that! I was really touched and can't thank him enough. Well, I really love that and appreciate it so much when someone give a hand to another person in need, it feels so good and fantastic! Another kiasu Singaporean? You tell me.


In conclusion, what I'm trying to say is that it doesn't matter who you are and where you are from. Regardless whatever it is, kiasu is not only in Singaporeans, we forget the real meaning of kiasu is 'fear of losing' and in today's world everyone is sooo afraid of losing, be it among Singaporeans, among students in school, among colleagues at a workplace, among brothers and sisters in a family, among politicians, yada yada yada yada yada ( I could go on forever!!! The list is endless!!). There is a little kiasu in all of us but unfortunately we always tend to overlook it by pin pointing others. If you are a good person, then there must be another good person too. If we all could stop blaming each other and whining about this kiasu-ness, then the world is a much better place to live in.


What kiasu again??? Ask yourself!


Forget kiasu-ness, think kindness. Peace to all!


Love,
Hidayah.

P/S- Hi my love, I know you're reading this. Best Singapore. Thanks again and love you so much!

Surviving Motherhood.

What a title, huh? I know it 's a little lame but I just want to share my experience here. I have a daughter who's about to celebrate her first birthday next month. Being a mother is incredible for me. I am far better person in every single way. Despite all the crying, the messiness she made, giggles coming out from her mouth when I do some stupid stuff just to get her attention, yada, yada, yada... I can't describe in words the experience of a lifetime being a mother. Yup, I do get tensed sometimes  when things don't go my way or even just by her disobedience about oh so many things! What can I say, I'm still trying to be a mom!

There is no book in this world that could really guide you or me to be the best mother for our children. I, myself is still learning about her every single second. It is weird but it is fun and exciting to feel that way. I love my daughter very much. I am so thankful and contented that I have supports from all my family members. I can never survive without them.

Dear Chempaka Naura,

I am sorry if there were times I was being foolish by not understanding your needs,
If there were times I was being harsh on you,
If there were times I didn't listen to you,
If there were times I was losing my emotions completely for things you did unintentionally,
Mama is still trying to get to know you,
Trying to get to know all about you,
Forgive me if I ever hurt you in any ways,
For you should know, I'm trying and always trying,
To be a mother to you, a friend to you, a shoulder to cry on and your confidante,
I will always strive to be the best mother you could ever imagine,
Please allow me to do so, always,
I love you so much, always.

Love,

Mama.

Our first airplane ride together to Langkawi Island. First holiday for you. You did great!

Our first Mother's Day celebration together. You were just 6 months old!

We were on our way to Singapore. Woo Hoo!

Look at the smile!

I really love this one! We both smiled and

so sweet together! I love you so much!

Annoyed Gone Annoying.

Whatever that means, what you're about to read is still about annoyance. I was a different person before I met my husband. In terms of characteristics and self-esteem. I am now way better than I was before and Alhamdullillah I am glad I am who and what I am today. However, there is one thing that has never changed at all though I'm trying as hard as I could to change it. I can easily get annoyed to certain things and actually there are a lot of things that I despise. I know I should be grateful and thankful instead of whining about all this crap in my blog but hey! It's my blog and I get to write what I wish to write about anything.

* I get easily annoyed by my Mama, especially when she keeps on babbling about something so petty such as yelling at my younger brother to take his shower when the fact is he just got home from school less than five minutes. Poor boy! Give him a break! He'll shower once he's ready.


* I love my younger brother, but sometimes he does annoy me when he doesn't listen and obey to my instructions like keeping his room neat and tidy when I've told him over and over again! Well, it used to be my room and it's his now. I would love to see my ex-room sparkling clean as before but I guess boys will be boys, what can I do? I'm just happened to be the opposite sex! He's not me and I'm still trying (very hard indeed!) to absorb that.

* Car drivers or bikers who possess idle hands that happens to be too handicapped to use the indicator or signals before they make any turns on the road. Gosh! That really annoys me! I believe other people do feel that too!

* People with no stickers who park at the handicapped allocated parking lot especially at hospitals and shopping malls. I guess they are blind, really blind to park their cars there, that's why!

* I just despise people who jump the queue regardless whatever their reasons are. If they had to, then ask permission and explain the reason why. Not just by skipping the line and pretended that no one will say anything to you! Oops... You got the wrong person! I'll definitely will give them a long winded speech so that they'll understand. Unfortunately, they don't most of the time.

* My local people who disrespect foreign workers from neighbouring countries like Indonesia, Bangladesh, Myanmar, just to name a few. Come on people! They are here to help us to help them. Show some respect and compassion. After all, aren't we all friendly? ( As what the tourism board always promote about us! )

* People who loves to brag about almost everything that they own or have. Just to show off to the world that they can afford all of those things. Do I really care about it?

* People who don't walk the talk. Just say and keep on saying about blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada, yada and no action taken. Unfortunately, this is very popular among Malaysians. Hehehe!!!

* Opportunists who always jump into the situation just to gain benefits for themselves. Creepy, sly and pathetic!!! Work your arses off yourself to get things done not an arse licker!

* Bullies. Wherever you are!!! Schools, work place, colleges, etc... There are so many better and appropriate ways to teach or guide someone, not by putting them down or crash on the ground. That's a coward job. Say BOO to BOOLLIES!!!

Well, I can list all the things and go on forever but I can never do that, I'll get more annoyed. In conclusion, there still will be people who are like that all the time , everywhere in this world. What I really know is I am not one of those crooks. I am better than them and I intend to be better every day in every possible way InsyaAllah.
Even though I can make just a slight difference to this world, I know deep in my heart that I've done something good although it is just an itsy bitsy good deed.

How about you???? Have you done something small but good to at least yourself?
Do something good for yourself, and you'll feel awesome!
Try not to get annoyed easily like me, am still trying and have improved tremendously great.

Adios...