I'll be celebrating my 5th year wedding anniversary with the most loving, understanding, compassionate, patient, (and so many other qualities) husband Shafiz Yusof. Can't believe that you could put up with my quirkiest behaviour and still love me for who I am. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH MY LOVE!
Being a new member in a family of my husband's was swift for me. I could blend easily with other in-laws especially my Mom-in-law. We became best friends instantly as I could get along with her so easily compared to my own Mama. I was blessed and amazingly lucky because she is the mother-in-law I've always dreamed of. Alhamdullillah. Same goes with my 2 elder sisters-in-law. We got along pretty well.
Somehow, nowadays it is quite the opposite for me. I don't really feel that I belong in this house anymore. I feel like I am invisible. My Mom-in-law is still a darling to me although I've kept my distance a bit from her after an intervention that happened 3 months back. I don't want to feel guilty of giving her any pressure because of what had happened back then. My sister-in-law (and her husband) had some issues with me which I find too petty (and I still do!) but I have let it go. I tried to mend the broken bond between us but to no avail. At times, I am clueless on how to actually make it as normal as before but I thought about something on why the response is always negative from their side.
They are just like that! From my observation of their behaviour towards me, there are things that I learned from them and it somehow answered my questions. Perhaps they need more time to adapt the way I am. Perhaps they always think they are always 'RIGHT', things have to be their way and that they believe that's the 'BEST'. They are still learning on how to 'ACCEPT' others the way they are. They are still learning on how to 'COMPROMISE' in certain issues. They are still learning that what's 'IDEAL' for them may not be the same to some people. They are still learning on how to 'LET GO'. Well, it's just as easy as they are still learning just the way others are still learning.
No matter how nice or how good I am, I am just an in-law. A daughter-in-law, a sister-in-law. Now that I have learned these from them, I begin to learn how to let it go easily. I have come to accept that I may be ignored during family ceremonies, they may pretend that I am not there, or the worst I've encountered was when they pretend to be nice to me in front of others and not so nice when it's just us. I tried to be nice and act as normal as I could before, but I was greatly ignored and I told myself that I am done being nice or at least trying to be. To them, it's still not good enough. I will give them what they want. The silent treatment. Perhaps, with some distance the wound will be able to heal in no time. InsyaAllah.
This is my side of story. I know they have theirs but I just had to write this in my blog. I have been crying in my heart just to let it go, but it wasn't easy for me. I can't thank my husband enough for helping me through this rough patch in our 5 years of marriage. Thank you for giving me the assurance that you love me the way I am, just fine and would never ever leave me no matter what. It made me believe even more that I know you are just the one for me and it doesn't matter what others think of me. I only care about you and our girls more than anything else in this world. All these people who can't accept me the way I am can just say whatever they want to say. I am just being me. Like it or not, I am just me. Love me or hate me. Like me or despise me. It's your call.
I love my family, that's more important. Shafiz, Chempaka Naura and Melur Maira. You guys rock my world more than anyone in this world! I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!
Can't wait for our Phuket Anniversary Getaway. Let's enjoy our family time like we always do!
LOVE YOU ALL...
Thank you for 5 great years my love and more years of happiness with our girls.
